Six excerpts from the Christ Comic Hero Bible

It occurred to me recently: it’s possible to put out an entire Children’s Bible, paraphrased and illustrated by AI.

This isn’t necessarily bad… I think. I’ve always written with some kind of autocorrect to keep me legible and efficient.

But, I wanted to share some excerpts from the sample images of the Christ Comic Hero Bible, since it’s marketed as “true to scripture.”

1. “CAIN’S HEART BURNED- NOT AT HIMSELF. BUT AT HIS BROTHER JEALOUSY GREW LIKE A FIRE THAT WOULDN’T DIE.”

(Is this real human depth, or something resembling depth?)

2. “THE CROWD REACTS WITH AWE AT THIS TEST KNOWING THAT IF ELIJJAH LOSES, AHAB WILL CONDEMN HIM TO DEATH.”

(“Elijjah?” Is that a common spelling, or is that a tokenization artifact?)

3. “UNTIL, ELI SAID GO BACK TO YOUR BED AND IF YOU HEAR A VOICE SPEAK, SAY I’M HERE LORD.”

(What’s with that sentence?
My AI can’t even identify the problem, but it’s weird, right?)

4. “THE LORD WANTS YOU TO DESTROY THE AMALEKITES. THEY HAVE BEEN ENEMIES OF ISRAEL EVER SINCE OUR PEOPLE LEFT EGYPT. DESTROY EVERYTHING I DON’T BRING ANYTHING HOME WITH YOU, FOR THIS IS NOT A WAR TO GET RICH”

(I can’t even… that’s just not in the 1 Samuel 15:2-3 or really anywhere.
The text says what Amalek did, not what Amalek becomes.)

5. “THE EARTH HE SPOKE INTO BEING NOW PUSHED AGAINST HIS FACE”

(Is that really in the Crucifixion accounts,
or does it just seem like it resembles a common pattern for dramatic storytelling?)

6. “THE CROSS CRUSHED HIM. THUD. HIS BODY BROKE BEFORE HIS SPIRIT DID.”

(So that’s how we’re going to illustrate the Passion of the Christ?
“His Body Broke Before His Spirit Did”.
Does this mean that Jesus’s Spirit broke?
That’s a big claim for something that’s true to scripture. *Thud*.)

Illustrations

I also noticed a few oddities in the illustrations. Mother Mary looks a lot like Nina Tucker from Full Metal Alchemist. Boaz and Ruth are making intense flirty eyes. Moses just looks like any old drawing of Moses. These are all problems that an AI wouldn’t catch in a QA pass.

But the one thing I can’t forgive.

The one thing that says “we don’t care about scripture…” to me is Samuel’s baggy robes. Hannah has exactly one way of supporting Samuel’s growth and flourishing, and it’s to bring him a robe every year. But this generic kid in a baggy robe with impossible pantlegs… this is not Hannah’s kid, this is not Samuel, and it’s not the Bible.